im angry
angry at the fact that you think im the cause of us not being friends

but seriously,
be in my position, for awhile
trying messaging someone you really miss
only to not have her reply you
try asking that someone you really miss out
only to get rejected time and time again
try being the person to wanna make the awkwardness not exist
only to be the only one trying
try trying to be friendly only to not get any vibe of friendliness from the other party
then get angry and only to be accused ot being the cause of everything

just
try trying only to fall flat face down

you make me go crazy in every possible way
today has probably been one of the hardest/worst days ive had since we broke up.

everytime my phone rings i hope its from you
everytime i get a message i hope its from you
everytime i go out i hope to see you
everything i fucking do i fucking think of you
sometimes i dont want to think about you but i always end up doing so

everytime i try to fly
i fall without my wings
i feel so small

im trying here okay
trying to be friendlier, trying to make things less awkward
but everytime i try, i always get pushed away
i take 1 step forward you move 10 steps back

sometimes i feel like fucking kill you
you make me fucking sick in the stomach at times
but
there's always a but
but even so, i dont care because you still mean alot to me
but even so, i still miss you
but even so, ill continue trying to make things right (and have the whole cycle continue again)
but even so, ill still want us to be friends


all i want is
to at least see an effort on your part to make things normal
is that just so fucking hard?