and ill never be with you


towned. shopped. meetup
got myself..
1) forever21 gold chain damn blardee nice. major blingbling
2) a tube top fucking dope from some ahlian fep shop
3) topshop ring

dinnered at cine. thats about it.

you reject me all the fucking time.
if you are trying to play hard to get, boy, youre playing it so well
seriously, so fucking hard for YOU to fucking reply a message?
if you tell me, your fucking fingers will drop off when you reply
or your eyes bleeed when you open them thus preventing you to reply
id understand
simply ignoring me is what you fucking do best
so much for "being friends"

i dont even care if im sounding like a bitch
or "pushing you away with my words" (sounds familiar?)

the amount of ignorance, tears, heartpain ive put up with
is FUCKING not even enough to compensate the good times we share
I UNFORTUNATELY HAVE TO SAY

i know you read my damn blog
and i know you know too that many people read this
but DO YOU THINK I CARE if im making you sound like the bad guy NOW?
sorry dear boy i DONT.
i said before, id never want to make you sound like the bag guy etc.
im sorry, you keep trying to prove me otherwise

have a good life with whoever you are with now or like or whatever (if you have any)
so much for no commitment
HAHA. what bullshit
wonder if you've been spending time with your family as much as before?
wonder if you've been going to church as much as before?
wakaka what a bunch OF BULLSHITSUCKMYASS reasons.
it still makes me go MAD thinking of what happened and why
talk about not being childish when i asked you back,
whos the one being childish here?

if youre not ignoring me
DONT MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU FUCKING ARE


but then again

now matter how many fucking times i get slammed by the lorry
no matter how manyfucking times i get rejected
no matter how many fucking times i get ignored
i stupidly still miss you
i will never be with you ever again. not that i dont want to, you give me the very clear hint that we'll never be together not even as friends.
thankew so much (read: SARCASM)
OMG SUCHA PRICK

the dumbest person ever.
i hold on to something/someone who clearly has FORGOTtEN me.

why did you even promise me a forever.
so much for i intend to hold on to you the longest and what, the only time we're gg to use the word lose is when playing DAIDEE.
im just so very angry now, i could possibly kill.

losing you as my other half is BAD enough, bad beyond words.
i dont want to lose you as friend
and i know by me doing thise (writting this entry) im most probably will (oh wait WHAT FRIEND in the first place?)

and if you think im trying to gain self pity
or indulge in it.
WHATEVER


and they said
let him piss you off majorly


and i dont know why, as i write this,
tears aree streaming down my cheeks

everytime i try to fly i fall without my wings i feel so small i guess i need you baby
(even so, you wouldnt need me anyways so what the hell)

am i feeding your ego by constantly saying i miss you?

its been too long and im lost without you
what am i gonna do
say id be needing you wanting you
wondering if youre the same and whos been with you
is your heart still mine i wanna cry some times
i miss you

a current MIX of emotions.

i see the innnerbitch emerging
have a good life