i know im slowly losing everything

too tired to go for my mum's birthday dinner
too tired to even try to get her anything not even a card
too tired to realise that today, my grandpa'll be admitted to the hospital
too tired to know that, tomorrow he'll be having an operation and i might lose him
too tired and caught up with my "life", to try to spend some time with him
too proud to acknowledge his presence
too tired to spend at least an hour with my sister
too tired to send her to school
too tired and lazy to even start doing my school work

i know im slowly losing everything

and i act all weird and strange and ignore-y
whenever you try to use goosebump-ish terms
im sorry if im pushing you away.
im sorry if i havent been the way you expected me to be.
im sorry if i treat you like crap.

and there's probably only one person i want now,
and thats not you.

and at the back of your mind, you know you should be with me now

rahhs. i probably shouldnt even be bothered about the nonsensical bullshits of ♥
do work do work.

probably never this hardworking in my entire life before.
now i dont even look forward to anything. (i guess)


my days are cold without you
and i keep on running back to you
im weak cause i believeD you
i'm mad because i love you
so i stop and think that maybe
you can learn to appreciate me

baby why you hurt me leave me and desert me
boy i gave you all my heart
and all you do is tear it up
looking out my window
knowing that i should go
even when i pack my bags
this something always hold me back