its usually the person/people
you really want and wished all life for..
they always end up the ones youll most unlikely to get.

its like,
the person you like and you really want things to work out and stuff
but they always end up going away or never getting him/her at all

and thats damn sad

rach told me to be happy for at least
i got someone i really wanted before.
and sadly, happiness didnt last

whhy is it whhyy.
the person you really want.
YOU ALWAYS HARDLY EVER GET HIM/HER.
everything's a joke.

i feel loike an emo kid

its like,
i am moving on but at the same time i dont
because, WHAT IF?
what if i move on, the last chance of us getting back together totally DIES?
what if i move on, im using the other person?
what if, i can never forget you?
what if, i can never find another like you?

i want to be the one trying to save things
because the other party's obviously given up
if i give up this last bit, everything'll be gone
and i dont want it to be gone. okay maybe i do. okay i dont know.

elie mentioned,
moving on is easy
the "ive already moved on and then you suddenly appear again when ive already moved on" phase is the worst.
duh, im hoping for that kinda thing to happen because i know for sure what ill do
its just so scary la. really

im probably not going to get anything out of waiting
probably not going to get anything out of not moving on
probably not going to get anything by working things out myself

but one thing for sure is,
now, i know someone who knows how to make me happy
makes me smile with his nonsense
except.
he isnt mine.

p/s: after telling her whats been happening,
rach officially thinks im in a worst situation than she is.
NOW CONGRATULATE DOPEME.