Let's start out by starting over.
What did I expect?
You're no good at lying and I'm no good at comebacks.
You're so untouchable.
I'm oh-so-terrible at this.
I'm terrible at this, you know.

Don't hold this against me.
I've already said I'm sorry.

And I bet you've got every word I said memorized in your head.
And you'll use every one of them against me.

Don't hold this against me.
I've already said I'm sorry.
Tell all your friends about me.
Don't hold this against me.
I've already said I'm sorry.

I hope you choke on every word you spoke when you were screaming at me.
I realize how many times you tried, but that's wishful thinking.
All I want is an apology for what you did and how you treated me.
Get me far away, or at least as far as this car will take me.
Tell all your friends about me.

Don't hold this against me.
I've already said I'm sorry.
Don't hold this against me.
I've already said I'm sorry

last count,
ive spent 6.4k since holiday started

hello to being poor.

and i dont know how some people can
eat breathe talk drink sleep (inset more whatever words here)
ART.

crazy.

braddy called me around midnight-ish and asked me to meet him & scully
so he picked me up in a cab and met scully who was sitting by the roadside at siglap gelare

we wenta this malay foodplace, masayu? or something
and had fun looking at weirdfaced people.
eg. LONG BEAN
hadd nice food. yummAy.

then we walked around and played at the playground at elite terrace
then police spot checked
and my dad sent us backk.

chocolatess. i love

bloddy sialan cheena face fuck.
gross, think she damn purrdy when she's cheena ooogly.
GROSS LAH.

mini bitching session.
LARRRHAHA!
picking fights with people.
DARRRM ASSES.

maybe i should stop being annoying and bitchy
because one day karma will happen to me
BUT its okay
i shall wait for karma to come before i stop.

HAHAHA.
fugly sialan people shouldnt take up MY oxygen.
i really dislike alot of people.
HAHAHHAHAHHAAAHHAHAHHA.
esp fugly sialan people and people who run away when their cb or whatever genital parts they have to fondle daily with shrinks. HAHAHAHAH!
ok i especiially hate this group of people
but i shall not mention what kindd because
in that group, wait, ONLY got 1 member LAH!
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

omg farah shut the fuck up.
mayeb you should go sing "she fucking hatess me"

.. and even rachel thinks so.
a threat to every relationship
a good or bad thing?
its a love hate thing i battle everyday with
i shall take it as a compliment. blessing in disguise
ive said it before,
since i cant settle for a happy relationship
yada yada yada.

i guess
that this is where we've come to
if you don't want to
then you don't have to believe me
but i won't be there when you go down
just so you know now
you're on your own now believe me

i don't want to be the one to blame
you like fun and games
keep playing em
im just sayin
think back then
we was like one and the same
on the right track
but i was on the wrong train
just like that
now you've got a face to pain
and the devil's got a fresh new place to play
in your brain like a maze you can never escape the rain
every damn day is the same shade of grey

hey
i used have a little bit of a plan
used to
have a concept of where I stand
but that concept slipped right out of my hands
now i don't really even know who i am
yo, what do i have to say
maybe i should do what i have to do to break free
what ever happens to you, we'll see
but it's not gonna happen to me

back then, i thought you were just like me
somebody who could see all the pain i see
but you proved to me unintentionally
that you would self-destruct eventually
now i'm thinking like the mistake i made doesn't hurt
but it's not gonna work
cause it's really much worse than i thought
i wished you were something that you were not
and now this guilt is really all that i got

you turned your back
and walked away in shame
all you got is a memory of pain
nothing makes sense so you stare at the ground
i hear your voice in my head when no one's around
what do i have to say
maybe i should do what i have to do to break free
what ever happens to you, we'll see
but it's not gonna happen to me

do what i have to do &
what ever happens to you
you're on your own now believe me

cabbed to scully's house with my sister
and we made ear-rings and what nots in the "playroom"

then kim camee (sounds weird if read aloud)
and we did more stufffs and talked and planned and talkkked.
quite funn.
but i was mad sneezing.
FLU FLU FLU.

left about 6plus and cabbed backk
dinner at home today tasted good because NO FATHERR :)

NOW im excited for halloween
cocco then indo & little lovecakes coming along
im sure we're gg to have a blastt (and i expect some mini confusions here there)
im glad some people might be going. MIGHT BE.

woah and its damn annoying to settle tix and all for everyonee kind.
i need to buy AHPEK looking singlet.

i loike what im gg to wear
okay someone just shouted and i think its my mum

im fallinngg siiicckkk.
and i dont like ittt.
fuck man i really am falling sickkk


im sick on a saturday night and im supposed to meet a friend and go to his/her house SOON
but fuckkk im sick. knnccb!
rei better be thankful to me man. hahaha

im sorry i even miss you
why did i even bother wasting more than 5cents on YOU.

if you were mine
i'd be your everything
and you'd be the only thing
that i would ever need
if you were mine
i would tell everyone
that you are the only one
that i could ever want
ohhhh yeah

everything i dream about
everything i talk about
one thing i can't live without
i wanna get closer to you
can't stand being far away
knowing that you don't feel the same way
watching him bring tears to your eyes

i ♥ raudha's nick
I'll spend my time loving other things
HMMMMMMM. maybe i should/am
and maybe I'll spend my time missing other things
i DO NOT deserve this
i DO NOT deserve this
i DO NOT deserve this
YOU DO NOT DESERVE ME
YOU DO NOT DESERVE ME
YOU DO NOT DESERVE ME
i HATE you
i HATE you
i HATE you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you


i feel damn lame

asking my mother to buy us each CHICKEN FOLDOVER from macs
just to try getting the 14.++ bangkok trip

but we always end up getting FREE REGULAR FRIES
eh cacatt man!

went geylang to whore myself and walked around
so many people
and i saw faizall. WAKAKKAKA
i always see him there laahh. omg he is damn dope
fera should know my obsession over him
i used to go religious class every sunday for the wrong reasons.
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA
fucking cute basturrd and he is geettinggg cuter

omg if only i still lived at my grandma's house then can see him everyday kind
hahaha ive had too many obsessions. woah dope dope dope.

i like my greek costume its dope. its like the sex only safer.
fug lah farah chew youre so lame

Luk3's online! pLayBoy NO MORE! says: waha... lols.. dun play already la... pls dun seduce me.. i got a gf.... PLS AR LIMIT AR

he think i very free want to seduce him ah. HAHAHHAHAH siaooo de worx!


my fucking piercing's fucking itchy
and my fucking face is like pimple plantation
eh fugggg mannn!!

ok im bored. HELLO WORLD.

muffin diving says: ya ya im flirting with you. FEEEELLL MYYY SEEEDDUUCCCTTIIOOONN
muffin diving says: *rubs boobs* HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH

i feel happy somehow i came/come from KC.
haha.
eventhough it has its rep. of being a slutty, bitchy whatever school
having that kinda label does make one feel good sometimes
HAHA.

ok im bored.

updated this bloggie!

so today i took a bus down to KC and met
kim & scully

kim collected her o level cert and we crossed the bridge over to sps side
and OMG we saw the sickest thing EVER.
a super dead cat, guts, intestines, brains all over the place
FUCKIINNG SICK.
can dieee. we were mad screaming like crazy when we saw that awful thing. HAHA

walked to the sps bus stop
i tell you, its the EAST COAST sun that kills.
always annoys me since sec1 days
ALWAYS AND FOREVER
no matter how fresh you go out of the house feeling.
when you step near kc or sps, WOAHH you'll mad melt ALWAYS
and to think we walked through sps almost every other day MELTING
applauds.

we took 12 down to chinatown and bead shopped.
woah so fun i tell you
bought many many gold stuffs. they're gg to help me make.
YAY

then we took a cab down to city hall
had my meetup and ate lunch/dinner
then we all took a train backk.

damn tiring i dont know why
im home early today.
scully's house tomorrow to make my ear-rings

i might be meeting some people later depending on my moood.

yay sean comes back today and bradley returns tomorrow.
pamily reunion. HAHAHAS.

i hate you but i love you i cant stop thinking of you

i like boys who notice and pay attention to my words

total ♥meltt to such lovecakes.

i can feel itt
YEAHH BABYYY !

oh i had fun "cheating" someone's feelings just now
HAHAHA so fun to cheat people's feelings
oh wait, i do it all the time.
HAHAHHAHAHAH!

cant wait for tomorrow.
YOU CAN NOW GO KISS MY ASS

oh i heard this song while at ECP MACS,
i hate myself for loving you, cant break free from the things you do
everyone say "AWWWWWWWWW"
awww your mother lah

private time with WAKAKAKA.
guan min do not disturb. i need to be alone with that person,

finally blogger decided to workk. HAHHA

so i wenta meet kimmAy & scullAy at MPL
we had starbucks, talking about nonsensical stuffs
:)) then we went to the library and i was being a noob
borrowed 2 lovely books. read one halfway already :))
loved the companyy.

then we wenta parkway and walked around
went to MPH and bought stuffs.
i always buy damn random stuffs lah no wonder always no monehh.
then we decided to jobhunt so we wenta mcCafe and looked through classifieds
and found so many IMMEDIATE interviews kind
and we went to the nearest one, at ECP.
fucking good pay but its kinda sleazy.
both scully and my parents dont allow
FUCKING GOOD PAY lahhh blarrrdee hell!
min. 60bucks a night + tips + 5bucks per glass + no uniform + by the beach + can drink while on the job + entertain people men.

just when we got the PERFECT JOB, parents dont allow KANA SAIII!
and we found alot of random ones like, bridal models and all. HAHAHA
dont know if we're gg for the interview
haha so scully and i mad chillax (HAHAHA SCULLY HATES THIS WORD) at the macs there
damn funnny mad laughing lah HHAHA.

then we walked back to our old school's area.
then i took a bus down to parkway
met luke & sk.
stupid boys i tell you. damn funny haha
im the coolest. ROARS

ate walked around and stuff
then i took a cab back
and bad cab experience. i shall not say
i hope the person kena car accident PERIOD.

gotham tonight. woah lan eh i want to go but all no money
RAHHHHS.
meetup tomorrow, 10buckoos.
my piercing's damn itchy.
help me scratch.

asswipe love :)

i finally got the courage and whatever you call it
to..
1) remove your picture off my phone cover
2) remove your picture off my dressing table
3) remove you off my speed dial
4) delete the songs which remind me of you (eg. I WANNA GROW OLD WITH YOU, PLAYS PRETTY FOR BABY)

i read somewhere last night,
in one of those confession sites and came across this

"Why did i get punished for HOPING?"

answer me that and you might win a prize.

you're probably happier elsewhere

I want you so much but I know you're probably happier with him... as long as you're happy I'll keep my feelings to myself


i have a crazy ex boyfriend
HAHA. he gets turned out with my fuggliest pictures
drives me crazy.

got asked to club tonight
i suddenly got no moood to club
only looking forward to monday and evenso not very excited for it anymore
because the dope cant make ittt & im penniless (somehow sounds wrong lah this word. PENIS)

and and and im dead broke
I NEED A FUCKING SUGARDADDY

tomorrow shall be a nicee chillaxx dayy :)
scully's houuse and cyclingg
and looking for jobs (VIDEO EZY COME HIRE ME!)
scully told me the kickass bookshop at siglap wont hire
ehh i like their boookks!!! UNFAIR LAH. pay me to read HAHHA

i wish people'd pay me to do somethingg.
like
pay me to eat
pay me to talk rubbish
pay me to comb his/her hair (OMG RANDOM!)
pay me to scream at them
pay me to irritate them
pay me to whatever them lah
JUST GIMMME MOOOLAH

i wanna hug you.

updated tattooedtaintedlove's random

oh my freaking god
i thinkk ive met my ultimate stalker
only this time, its a female.

FUCKING FREAK!!!
ive met many stalkers in my 17yrs of living
and i have NO met a female stalker LIKE HERR.

oh my fuckinggg goddddd.
imagine this.

she addes you on friendster you reject
she makes another friendster account then you finally accept
so she can now view your profile thus able to see my email addie
then she adds me on msn
and everytime she does that, ill delete or block her when i DO find out who she is
then she'll make a new email accnt and add me and CHAT ME UP on msn
and everytime i delete/block her from MSN, she'll come up with a new email addie
and add me on msn

SHE IS DAMNNN FREAKKYY
I FEEEEL LIKE BURNING HER WITH THE HOT IRON.

why do i always have weird stalkers!!
THIS ONE IS PROFESSIONAL ONLINE STALKER!

haha omg imagine she takes my pictures of friendster and like masturbates to it
every now and then
oh bliss SICK!
YUCKS SERIOUSLY STUPID GIRL, FUG OFFF. YOURE DAMN FREAKKY!!

oh and i cant stand her, also because
she keeps adding me in her 1,2,3,4th friendster account
WHICH I THINK IS DAMN LAMEEE.
and she adds people she doesnt even noe,
LIKE ME.

GRROOSSSSSS!!
omg pls excuse me while i puke

so i met rach at kembangan and we took a train down to suntec
wenta topshop and met min
walked around suntec before heading down to town

fep-ed. took a bloodt long time to eat cos the backing of my piercing
kept getting stuck to my gum.
irritating and rach told me eat black sauce will make the thing black
HAHAHAHA. nonsense

walked around fep, wenta reign for while
then to forum
min was looking for her sailor hat at toysrus but they didnt have itt

then min left us for her dental appointment and i wenta zara with rach
got myself a nice long top :))

then to taka, got myself a WH dress & a FOX top :))
then met min again and we took a train down to TM.
rach left for home, min and i went to the freezing tampines mall
she bought herself the MNG jackett and we ate at LJS.
okay she ate i watched.
damn hard to chew lah cos the ting keeps getting stuck
ANNOYANCE.

then wenta meet roy & co. and we wenta pasir ris
met rach there again
then wenta sk's house.
ananoying dog, wanted to kick it but i was scared. HAHA
then to the park and tried to fish but didnt and ended up playing the maze.

left with rach & min had to leave. rahhhs!
got bitten by dono how many million insects
and they kept trying to sabo us in the maze
and also with ghost stories. annoying.

cabbed back and washed up and msging till now.

toysrus reminds me of the magik 8ball you have and the answers we asked.
i miss you BUT SERIOUSLY FARAH FUCK IT

new pics uploaded bitch

our supposed (?) 4th month
i still miss you

but ill leave/live

so i cabbed down to gardens returned my vcds then walked
a super motherly long walk out to the main road
and cabbed to scully's house

kim was there when i reached and i love her new hair! :)
then we slacked around then wenta different tastes to eat lunch
and meet min & rach
had yummy food and kim was freakking funny! trying to push the cat with the door
haha scully was being sadistic, LOLS!

after that walked back to scully's and we mad dressed up
and played with wigs, masks all. damn funn!
and we were made make-uping. so fun so fun

then wenta parkway walked around and got myself pierced
at utopia. had to beg scully to pierce with me like crazy
she got her tongue done and i got my right lip done.
and i love itt.
and amazingly it didnt hurt as much as i thought it would
but belly piercing's the best, most not pain at all. HAHA

then after piercing, walked to parkway
slacked and what nots
and took a bus backk.

rahhhs.
someone to call my lover;

i saw my sayang today!
she said im hostile!
RUBBISH i will kick her
just cause i didnt hug her and all she anyhow say
I WILL KICK YOU !! HAHAHA.
i miss her so much lah!!! :) :)

♥ing someone does not mean that you have to be with him because if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

soon, ill be leaving you.
running out of reasons to cry
tired of trying
running out of reasons to believe you'll always be mine

i miss you
please just tell me you miss me too (lie to me even if you dont)

Boy meets girl
You were my dream,my world
But i was blind
You cheated on me from behind
So on my own
I feel so all alone
Though I know it's true
I'm still in love with you

I need a miracle
I wanna be your girl
Give me a chance to see
That you are made for me
I need a miracle
Please let me be your girl
One day you'll see it can happen to me
I need a miracle
I wanna be your girl
Give me a chance to see
That you are made for me
I need a miracle
Please let me be your girl
One day you'll see it can happen to me
It can happen to me

Day and night
I'm always by your side
Cause I know for sure
My love is real my feelings pure
So take a try
No need to ask me why
Cause I know it's true
I'm still in love with you

I need a miracle...

Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?

Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby

I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy

And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby

I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry

Ohhhh

At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away

And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby

i wonder if you even think of me
even miss me
even had the thought or whatever to make things right

150 to realise.
and i cant live without it.

id kill so many people now if i could.
i would if given the chance
my whole family's pissing me off (xcept filza & fendi & amazingly my mother)
every possible situation with you, him, them, us, they pisses me off too

i dont know if its aunt rosy acting up
but i dont care.

the one on the right is the girlfriend, the one of the left is the other woman
since i cant have a happy r/s.

i dont get it,
why in the first place fight and whatever with me bcos of your damn insecurities
then rejoyce and pop champagne when i break up?
doesnt the truth, of me being single, only leaves the possiblity that your insecurities are gonna eat you alive again?
be happy i single for what? be happy farah's no longer with daniel for what?
doesnt that only give me the freedom to steal your boyfriend from you again??
some people are just so dumb.

if you think your family's dysfunctional

you have not met mine

CONFESSIONS
may or may not be true. you decide.
got it off the net somwhere, and its scary to know that there are people who have similar secrets/confessions as i do.
I AM NOT PROUD

I'm in love with someone. That's it really. He doesn't love me back like that, but I still love him.

....

I want to kiss you. It may not be as great as my mind has brought it up to be but I don't care anymore, I want to anyways. I know your confused and it maybe too soon, but why delay the inevitable when it won't solve anything. I want you to kiss me.

....

So I embarrass you do I. You're ashamed of me. So telling me never to change who I am was a lie? Hypocrite. I try to say something nice about you to make you feel good and you make me feel like a fool for ever feeling that way about you. Why would I carry on about you being "cute" on your blog? Do I even think you are cute? Why would I say something stupid on there? The fact that you don't trust me hurts me, because I trust you. Maybe not so much now.

....

ive cheated on my boyfriend

....

god knows what id do with you

.....

just give me one more night

.....

Being with you tonight took every worry in my mind away.

.....

told him i adored him. he doesn't feel the same way.

.....

I still love you, and it fucking tears me up inside. It kills me

......

Every time I look at my dress I can see the imprint of your your hands around the waist. Why didnt it work out between us? We are so perfect for each other, and I know you wanted me as much as I wanted you.

......

I broke up with my girlfriend a few months ago. Recently, I asked her if she wanted to hook up again... no relationship... just to fuck around and do all the sexual things that we did in the relationship... sometimes I feel like I'm using her because I think that she still has feelings for me.

.......

I still think about you all of the time, and about all of the fun we had.

so let's have
One last kiss
One last touch
One last tender moment between us
One last dance
To our first song
While pretending there's nothing wrong
Let's stay here for awhile and
Cherish every moment we're in denial
We both know
Its better if we just let it go

a platonic relationship
with no strings attached
but able to share something with you.

found this on a site i was reading.

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE I EVER KNEW
...
BUT I STILL WISH I NEVER KNEW YOU

its in a form of a picture thingy
dont tink id wanna post the work up
copyright and stuff.

rahhs, the sentence is so nice.

yay i think theyre going overseas soon! nov-ish
i better find a boyfriend soon then ask him stay with me
MUAKAKKAKAKA

and he said,
platonic with no strings attached and still do things

phoned till early morn.
mother tiredd =(
interesting convo with bus stop convo mate. LOL.

my throat's been killing me
aunt rosy's been very rosy
lax is making me shitt like crazy

he asked me to liquid tonight
i want to fish & cycle instead!
PLUS im aunt rosy-ing! DAMN GROSS ah!

meowrs.
oh i can fit into the greek god costume i got from the costume shop
and also the kiddy devil's costume i got from concourse
but need to go alterings and all for both costumes.

WOAH DYIINNGG

oh brad's friend told brad to tell me this:
"tell farah, men are like wine, the older the better"
LOL!!


GET FOR ME THE GREEK GOD COSTUME FROM TANGS!!!!!

i still dont get it

what's a friendster smile?
is it like,
the person see your friendster
then see your face nice nice then he/she smiles to herself
so because your picture made him/her smile, him/her gives you a smile back
in return in order to make you smile because your picture made him/her smile??
HAHAHA.

still dont understand.
i want to ban so many people from friendsterr!!
DAMN STALKERRRRR-ish i damn scared

never reply one message,
then keep sending. damn scary!

be an angel baby,
buy me the greek goddess dress from tangs.
ill really love you forever and ever and ever

new pics uploaded,youre gg to love it
AUNT ROSY'S BACK TO VISITT

everything reminds me of you
wonder if you ever think of me..


so met rach at lavender and we wenta beach road hawker centre!
woah the place is so fun! so full of things to buy
but i didnt get anything lah, only goodshit ice-lemon tea!

then we walked to concourse, hoping to find halloween costumes
and i ended up getting a CHILD SIZE devil's costume (dont know if can fit ernot)
& a super motherly fuckingly funny face thingy!
OMGGGG you see and youll laugh your nehneh out lah i tell you!

then we walked all over arab street for costume shops!
and omg got this shop then inside got cats
woah! i JUMPED, SCREAMED, RAN lah! hahahha
woah rachel and the woman damn bastard, say no more cats
WOAH then the bloody cat ran out of the clothes shit I RAN OUT OF THE FUCKING SHOP LAH!
then got more cats in the other door then the door suddenly open, I RAN TO THE ROAD LAH!
mother scaryy! ultimate nightmare
ill kill themm all (if i ever get near them lah)

then then, rach got herself this super lovely cabaret-ish corset
and i got myself a greek goddes outfit!
gotta alter,tailor whatever it. meowrs.

then we took a bus down to town,
met fann & kim and saw timmy work! HAHA.
shopped shopped shopped!
she and her friend came to meet us.
annoying woman. hahahahhhahahahahahhahaha. HHOT DIGGETY!
then braddy camee to meeet too!
lalala! shop shop shop

then darius shopped.
vcds! dvds! hahaha. justin & darius damn sneaky!
then left with braddy & rach for heeren and we slacked there

braddy's leaving tomorrow and i need to go to gardens ASAP!
my vcddss! and he asked me to go help him pack his clothes, crazy idiot!

i got no plans for tomorrow,
jackson forgot about me ever since school started
(and he kept reminding me to not forget him)
& benn just called to ask me to club.
WOAH SIANZZZ DE WORXX.

oh i spent $612.90 in total today
MUAKAKKAKA.

i want to go fishing,
i think sean's still traumatized and braddy'll be leavingg for a week!
how to find fishing buddehs! KANA SAI

soon ill be leaving you,
you wont be leaving me

A MUST READ
click here

omg i cannot stand itttt
ANNOYING COYOTE UGLIES

keep on adding and messaging me on friendster
until the WHOLE THING jammed and lagged on me
BLARDEEE IDIOTTT

some messages are so desperate omgg!
"......please add me back lah k"

whats with the PLEASE? cacatt!!!
and wad, the name ROMEO all.
please ah. romeo? over my shakespearian body man!

updated my random site
shall use the site to post song lyrics with very meaningful meanings.

if you leave me noww.. you take away the biggest part of me

Today's reading:
You must wait a little longer for answers. Distract yourself by meeting new people.

wohwohwoh.
crazy talk on the phone last night
her kayakingg incident, forever disturbing my picture & prata cravinggs!
oh ohh! GOOOD LUCK FOR THE o`s PEOPLE ESP DAPHNE WEEEE!

sold my stuffs online alreadyy.
yay! both sold within afew hours. feeel so dope!
monehmonehmoneh coming my wayy!

school's reopening in 17days.
WOHWOHWOH.
eeyer, my laptop getting abit dirrrtehh!
i cant wait for tomorrroow!!!!

and pat thinks she funny, my boobs will come out lah
with her smart halloween costume idea

my fucking throat hurts like a bloody dog.
its dropping faster then its replenishing. ughhh.

the best yet not so practical time to pick up a girl
right after she has a breakup
and YOU never fail to always be the first to try that ah.
disssgusstinngg!
3 times already pls, time to try something new!

NEEED TO PLUCKK EYEBROWS!!
NEEED TO SHOPPPPP!
NEEED TO STOP SPENDING MONEY!!
NEEED TO LOSE WEIGHTT!!
NEEED TO STOP BEING BITCHY!!!!

okay i need to bitch. haha
where's my bitchy burn book partner?

I WANT TO BE A SINGLE MOM

id really ♥ you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever if you'd buy me at least one of the stuffs (or something) from the following list:

this
this
thiis
this
or
this

pig brain doesnt want me to love her forever and ever so she asked me to be casper. IDIOT PIG!

i want to be greeek goddess!

burn book! :)


omg i get the most chapalang cacat to the max kind of people
viewing my friendster
I WANT MY BALDWINNS! NOW!
woahhh!! kana sai!!
what is thiss!
and always and forever all the cacat only a mother would love kinda people would message me
and "farah, wanna sex?" me.
YUCKKKS OMGGGG. DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN GROOOSS!!!
prince baldwin charming please come save the chubby!
enough of coyote uglies!
friendster should BAN coyote uglies from viewing MY friendster.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAH omg im so evil. whatever lah!

they'd kill for the amount on my friendster views.
hahahahhaha! i win everyone yay!
(but win also not say BALDWINs view my friendster) cheyyy!

the only consolation is
mr baldwin HIM checked my friendster
and i am a very happy girl.
WAKAKAKAKKAA.
like he so hot stuff amongst afew people i know.
WOHWOHWOH!

someday i will be leaving you
someday i will stop loving you
someday i will miss someone else

that someday will come eventually
but not so soon

i dont want to use another as a reason to forget you
i dont want to make myself accept him to forget you
i dont want to make myself acknowledge his presence because he will replace you

you coming back to me is against all odds,
its a chance ive got to take.

i will one day move on
i dont even expect for us to even get back together
because i dont want to

i cant even say that i love you as much or more or even anymore now.
all i can say now is i miss you
missing you doesnt mean i necessarily love you
its not that ive completedly not love you yes its still in me
but its fading
love no longer exists as much
but the longingness to just hug you one last time is still here in me
the absences of you even as a friend is too much for my chilay heart to bear

ive said it before,
i want us to be like normal, minus the status of us being together.
if i can still be friends and shit with the others, why are you an exception?

i miss you
nothing more.


////


mac died on me. everything got restarted and ya.
thank god my documents are still intact
only itunes & msn gone.
donwloaded firefox.
i suddenly feel like shit after reading something
so shit that i feel the inner bitch emerging
but then again i told myself i wont do what i want to do

How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking
Every breath with you
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now
Oh there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds
And that's what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now
so there's just an empty space
But to wait for you is
All I can do
When that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now
'Cause l'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
That's the chance I've got to take

Take a look at me now

Here I am playing with those memories again
And just when I thought time had set me free
Those thoughts of you keep taunting me

Holding you, a feeling I never outgrew
Though each and every part of me has tried
Only you can fill that space inside

So theres no sense pretending
My heart its not mending

Just when I thought I was over you
And just when I thought I could stand on my own
Oh baby those memories come crashing through
And I just cant go on without

On my own Ive tried to make the best of it alone
Ive done everything I can to ease the pain
But only you can stop the rain

I just cant live without you
I miss everything about you

long conversation with sculleh, braddy & kim & ben last night
past few nights have been phonee crazeehh! haha
with all the shaggerbility gaame alll!

out laterrs! exciting. my ramly is waiting por me.
my ipod gave me problems again last night
i feeel like killing it lahhh!!!!

brad's being a fucktard. reallly.
he keeps tempting kim to eat
(kim's fasting with me by the way)
damn annoying! hahahahhahahaha.

am listening to old school love songs,
chicago.. air supply.
they're the sex lah

Tell me why
What did I do?

Just the other night the love of my life went away
And I cant sleep at night it’s driving me crazy
Why cant you see that I miss looking in your eyes
Why cant you see that I miss kissing you at night?

I still love you
Please take my hand
Let me help you to understand
Ain’t nobody gonna love you like I do
Ain’t nobody gonna do the things I do for you

Tell me why when I call you at home
You say your with your friends, dont call no more
Why cant you see the love thats right in your face
Why cant you see that I dont want no one to come and take your place

This is something that I cant understand
Why couldnt you just be my man
And all the love that we given
I dont want it to be wasted
Why cant you face it

cabbed to garden's with scully
did the postaging crapp and i love gardens.

wenta braddy's house and waited for 3.51 to come before he'd get outta bed to bathe
damn nonsense.
then we wenta video ezy. fucking funny lah the place.
super fun. ian and his bro were there too
mad disturbing the girl working there.
got my ezy card FINALLY.
got this really GAY guy that came in, damn funny. can die looking at ian's expression

then went back to braddy's
his friends were there already when we came back
scully and i caught YOU GOT SERVED while he did his friend's tattoo
cool.
then scully and i decided to eat at CAFE CARTEL so we walked back to the center part and had dinner
damn filling, almost died
lovee the atmosphere lah. damn nicee to live in gardens. i want to move thereee!

then went back, caught the second part of YOU GOT SERVED
then brad & scully went mad.
i almost died lah!
damn funny.

then cabbed back with scully.

dont know what's planned for tomorrow but
kimmAy's going to fast with me! she is COOOL!

just finished watching SUGAR & SPICE
still have another movie to go.
talking about movies, i feeel like watching those dancey dancey shows like
honey, save the last dance, centrestage and coyote ugly
i shall watch emm!

everything's just too much to ask for,
2 stubborn people.
i dont intend to get anyone involve in ourhis & my issues.
whatever makes you happy.
try living one day in my shoes.

and she said, i dont see a future in the both of you

Im lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesnt really know, doesnt really know

Im all out of love, Im so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
Im all out of love, what am I without you
I can’t be too late to say I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long, lonely nights
Im reaching for you, are you feeling it too?
Does the feeling seem oh, so right?

And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I cant hold on?
Theres no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or Ill be gone, Ill be gone

If you leave me now, yoll take away the biggest part of me
No baby please dont go
If you leave me now, youll take away the very heart of me
No baby please dont go

A love like ours is love thats hard to find
How could we let it slip away
Weve come too far to leave it all behind
How could we end it all this way
When tomorrow comes well both regret
Things we said today

A love like ours is love thats hard to find
How could we let it slip away
Weve come too far to leave it all behind
How could we end it all this way
When tomorrow comes well both regret
Things we said today

If you leave me now, youll take away the biggest part of me
No baby please dont go
Oh girl, just got to have you by my side

No baby, please dont go

Oh mama, I just got to have your lovin, yeah

Weve come too far to leave it all behind

A LOT LIKE LOVE

So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything you need
I'll also be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone

i hate you but i love you

heard the funniest thing last night lah
my god, when i received that message
WE all started laughing like crazy ah!

hahahhahahahaha
damn funnneh! my god

now i cant help but feel like a fool lah
hahahhahahaha.

THEY damn bastard, anyhow say i damn bastard all
then hahaha, see now, say wrongly. HAHHAHAHA.

messwiththewrongbitch

friend or foe?
since being friends so hard right,
do you wanna be my foe?
WAKAKKAKAKAKA.

omg farah youre a slut lah. can die.
neeed all the luck :)

my cat died. damn poor thing. damn sad.
(actual fact, its a stray cat lah, not my cat. live in my neighbourhood wad so i shall label it as "my" cat)

new pics uploaded

im angry
angry at the fact that you think im the cause of us not being friends

but seriously,
be in my position, for awhile
trying messaging someone you really miss
only to not have her reply you
try asking that someone you really miss out
only to get rejected time and time again
try being the person to wanna make the awkwardness not exist
only to be the only one trying
try trying to be friendly only to not get any vibe of friendliness from the other party
then get angry and only to be accused ot being the cause of everything

just
try trying only to fall flat face down

you make me go crazy in every possible way
today has probably been one of the hardest/worst days ive had since we broke up.

everytime my phone rings i hope its from you
everytime i get a message i hope its from you
everytime i go out i hope to see you
everything i fucking do i fucking think of you
sometimes i dont want to think about you but i always end up doing so

everytime i try to fly
i fall without my wings
i feel so small

im trying here okay
trying to be friendlier, trying to make things less awkward
but everytime i try, i always get pushed away
i take 1 step forward you move 10 steps back

sometimes i feel like fucking kill you
you make me fucking sick in the stomach at times
but
there's always a but
but even so, i dont care because you still mean alot to me
but even so, i still miss you
but even so, ill continue trying to make things right (and have the whole cycle continue again)
but even so, ill still want us to be friends


all i want is
to at least see an effort on your part to make things normal
is that just so fucking hard?

i dont want to get involved.

leave me out. really.

the cut, still raw
i still think of you

to make things worst,
my mum doesnt know where she kept the black book
almost killed her for misplacing it

soon will NEVER come
friends we'll NEVER be

raudha's right,
i go on all angry
only to miss him even more 2-3days after.
seriously, you DONT KNOW how much you mean to ME right?
fuck you farah chew

Last night I saw you
The first time since we broke up
I tell you baby
It all came back to me
When I looked into your eyes
There was something more
That I never really noticed before

Could it be that we were wrong
And I was so wrong
When I realized and turned around
And you were gone

If I say I want you back
Would you turn around
And say you want me too
Cuz I say I want you back
This time I really mean it

Got so much I wanna tell you
It’ve changed the view
But I don’t know what to say or do
We grew apart
But I still want you
In my heart
I believe it’s time to make a new start

Could it be that we were wrong
And I was so wrong
When I realized and turned around
And you were gone

If I say I want you back
Would you turn around
And say you want me too
Cuz I say I want you back
This time I really mean it

If I say
I want you
Want you back
Will you turn and walk away
From me
If I say
I want you back
With me
Believe

If I say I want you back
Would you turn around
And say you want me too
Cuz I say I want you back
This time I really mean it

And if I say
I want you back
And if you say
You want me too
And if I say
I want you back
And if you say
You want me too

this could very well be the start of something special

i can't seem to understand,
how these feelings started to grow,
maybe its your smile,
or the affection you show.

youre just something i want,
youre something i adore,
i wish when i open up to you,
you would show me more.

i wish i could,
cross the boundary of us being friends,
but i simply can't,
for that is where the line ends.

i can't seemed to reach you,
and i'll never let you go,
i guess i fell in love with our friendship,
and maybe someday you'll know.

but for now,
friends is what we'll be,
but that don't stop,
wanting you to be with me.

maybe someday,
this wish will come true,
maybe i could live this dream,
and just be with you.

come to think of it
i saw many many people i havent seen for very long

previous bowlers from ac, tkgs etc.
somewhat a reunion not made official kind

saw 1 or 2 baldwins
BUT not interested lah.

shall vow try not to
go to parties anymore
pisssssses me off with the crowdedness.
RAHHHHS.

but the next party ill be heading to is newsroom & home.
MUAKAKAKA.

post-party conflict

indo was alright
sneaky people and sneaky plans.
got the people in thanks in zach. muakkaa.
but dont tink they were checkking id tho.
woohoo now i know who to call to bring ppl into clubs. HAHA.

upcoming newsroom also, farah too dope, anything for me man. HAHA

so the party...
not as fun as expected.
people spoilt my mood, seriously
and it was too fucking crowded
i was punching, nudging idiots who practically SWING their whole damn body when dancing kind
i wanted to SLAP and KILL them but im too short.
darn!

alot of weird people.
as usual the expected happened

kinda got my moood bleah.
but i came home a happy girl
i just feel happy?
ill feel bad if i do that

brad told me im being to harsh on my mum
i cant help it
but then again if i were her and loved someone that much, id do anything including immunity? for that person
bleahs.

rei just called to ask me go to josh's house.
kerehhzie!! so far plus i want to sleeeepp!!!!!

there'll be some point in time where you'll find the ones you love leave you

i probably miss you too much
to even feel sane.
been much of a mental case lately, mix of hot and cold emotions
which can and will probably kill me if it continues
oh what the hell.

sometimes i feel like running away,
like go to a resort and just escape there for a week
thats probably what i need
to de-stress
away from my family, away from the mad whirlwind in my life
and away from confusions which makes the confused very much more confused
i need to get away maybe with you

oh im QUEEN chubby. lols.

after tonight, things change.

youre the best of my future

im sorry that you..

bored to tears, kimmy and i are indulging in some lameass quiz fun.

click here! to view quizes!

new pictures uploaded

and i ♥ my new fster profile!

id love to have someone to hug now


everything's pissing me off.
EVERYTHING.

fuck with my heart
i'll teach you what it's like.
to be so used
you know that you are worthless
and i am better than
spit bullets with my pen.
and all I know is you're cute when you scream.
i'll take you to the top,
of this building and just push you off.
so here's your kiss goodbye

I FUCKING HATE YOU FUCKING BASTARD. FUCKING BURN IN FUCKING HELL YOU FUCKING SHITHOLE OF A FATHER
FUCKING HATE YOU
I FUCKING HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU

FUCKING BASTARD
DIE YOU MOTHERFUCKER
DIE YOU MOTHERFUCKER


BURN IN HELL YOU SELFISH BITCH
YOUR MOTHER'S A DOG
YOUR FATHER'S A WHORE
I FUCKING HATE YOU

FUCKING FATHER OF MINE
FUCKING GO AND BURN IN HELL
I FUCKING HATE YOU FUCKASS

YOUR MOTHER'S A WHORRE
YOU BLOODY DOG
YOU DESERVE TO FUCKING DIE IN MY FUCKING HANDS
IM FUCKING GOING TO KILL YOU

I FUCKING HATE YOU FUCKING BASTARD
FUCK YOUR MOTHER AND DIE
OH WAIT SHE'S DEAD.
AHAHAH FUCK YOUR FATHER THEN
OH WAIT HE'S DEAD
OH SO GO FUCK YOUR BLOODY GF AND DIE OF AIDS

I FUCKING HATE YOU DOG

OH BY THE WAY IF YOU DO COME HOME AND REALISE A QUATER OF YOUR CLOTHES GONE
THANK ME ALRIGHT FUCKASS :)
THEY'RE MOST PROBABLY TORN AND AT THE FOOT OF THE BLOCK NOW
EITHER THAT OR, THEYRE IN A PILE OF BLACK JUNK ID CALL ASHES :)

FUCK YOUR MOTHER WHORE

so wenta meet scully and her bro at starbucks
then braddy came then sarah and bro came then sam fok

then we all took cab down to arab str and had dinner at the kampong glam cafe
then off to sheesha at the old place
then rei came then rachel
mad funn lah can die!

didnt do much, just pic whoring and stuff. super lame.
then rach, brad, scully, rei and i walked down some funny dono wad name lane
then found nice bargains! super fun! hahaha but damn "musty" siah the place.
so smelly cannot tahan
brad bought a super nice blazer for 10bucks and we pic whored even more there
sho kewl

then cabbed back scully and bro and the OTHER bradley.

yay yay yay!
i think im most heartless. but then again, who cares.
im a mental case. HAHA.

so cool, my buyer's gg for indochine tomorrow too hahahah
how conincidental. muakaka.
GO TEAM BALDWIN!

we be burning, radio version's so not near orgasmic.
disspointment

the new aloe vera hair removal cream's damn nice!
doesnt itch as much as the usual one.
RECOMMENDED!

might be sheesha-ing tonightos
i hate sheesha. BAD MEMORIES OF YESTER DAYS
but i shall go because im bored
hopefully those fucktards'll allow me to go. rahhs!
yay am going! haha

FUCK, ive got a huge cut on my thigh

im trying to find out when our supp's results coming out
rach said, itll come out together with the rests (in other words when the timetable's released)
school wont be fun anymore.
looking forward yet am not to it
kim and i decided to be DAMN ON about school
and VOTE KIM FOR PRESIDENT!
and we played some funny game last night. MAD FUN!!!!
shagggg :)

damn excited for tomorrow, somehow the pics i sent to my comp is no where to be found
so i shall just surprise scully. HAHA
meetup tomorrow, means, more monehh! i loike.

my room's in a mess. like everthing's in PILES on the floor
because my cupboard comes only tomorrow.
i have trouble finding bras ESP. because theyre so small. MUAKAKA.

mad carressing of hairless self. SO NICE.
meanwhile shall go look for more stuffs to sell online.


like i give 2 fucks
MAKE ME CRY & LAUGH

does any one knoww if there's any place i can go to to
buy a USB CABLE PORT for my digi cam? i cant find that miracle wire!!!!!!

words i dare not face.
words from someone so far, yet so true.
thanks raudhha :)


creativity takes courage. says:
well, if ur friends say just let him piss u off until u cannot take it right..
trust me it doens't work
not much..
it'll work for like say.. 2 days.
then u'll go back to missing him


oochie walla walla says: (1:06:01 AM)
i know that


creativity takes courage. says: (1:06:16 AM)
and i noe it feels or even sounds stupid to like be missing him but i guess the only way to really get over it is just time.
i'm not one to say about getting over people..
i'm never good with them
and actually, being their friend after a break up, not a good idea


oochie walla walla says: (1:07:05 AM)
losing a r/s doesnt mean we have to lose the fship


creativity takes courage. says: (1:07:12 AM)
yea i noe that..
but like u noe.. u expect this friendship to be all nice and stuff right..
like u sitll want him to reply to u
and like talk to u
and like when u have a problem or seomthing u want him to still be there for u kind right?
yea... that's just an excuse to want him back in ur life so u can show him what he's been missing.. i did the whole - u're sitll my friend..
let a few weeks or at least months go by..
and then liek rekindle the friendship
boys are weird.
really..
like now, i'm friends with all my exs
and like close friends.. and they ARE there when i need them kind
just not so totally in the face i'm still ur friends kind.


oochie walla walla says: (1:09:32 AM)
its not that. even if he doesnt reply my msges or wadever seriously just DONT fucking shut me out of everything. friends, he wanted to be friends, wad kickassbullshit shit is he giving me now?
anyways thanks. ill get over it someday


creativity takes courage. says: (1:09:50 AM)
haha..
i noe exactly how u feellll
really..
like he says no we will sitll be friends dun worry
but he doens't even want to see u
forever finding a reason to not see u
and like he like in a way doens't even want to noe u exist right?
haha
same thing happened to me..
those are just words...
lies that have been tailored to make u have HOPE that there'll sitll be something..
my guess, he doesn't even give three asses about whether a friendship is sitll there.. maybe.. i dunno la but yea...


creativity takes courage. says: (1:12:04 AM)
haha yea u will.. and u'll find someone who is like TEN gazillion times better than him...
seriously, what u're feeling right.. the want to be friends with him, they are just excuses ur mind is concocting to make urself feel better
u just want his attention..
sorry if i'm being blunt
even though it's been more than a month, u still feel liek u just broke up yesterday?
if u don't mind, what was the reason or EXCUSE that he gave for breaking up with u?
omggg... that's like almost the same reason as i got..
i tell u la..
no offence but i think he just wanted to get with u for the fun of it and he's a freaking sweet talker...
do u actually think negleting studies is a good idea?!?! pls la.. there are people who have relationships but are getting A's B's and shitt...
family and church.. hmmmmm doesn't he sitll go out as often?


oochie walla walla says: (1:17:59 AM)
all i know the reasons he gave me is PURE BULLSHIT


creativity takes courage. says: (1:18:19 AM)
not ready for r/s then why evne BOTHERRR to get into one? and don't have bright future.. 
i bet he's very nice to hug kind right..


oochie walla walla says: (1:18:58 AM)
ya


creativity takes courage. says: (1:19:01 AM)
i knew it
cuz the guy who did that to me was nice to hug

and ill never be with you


towned. shopped. meetup
got myself..
1) forever21 gold chain damn blardee nice. major blingbling
2) a tube top fucking dope from some ahlian fep shop
3) topshop ring

dinnered at cine. thats about it.

you reject me all the fucking time.
if you are trying to play hard to get, boy, youre playing it so well
seriously, so fucking hard for YOU to fucking reply a message?
if you tell me, your fucking fingers will drop off when you reply
or your eyes bleeed when you open them thus preventing you to reply
id understand
simply ignoring me is what you fucking do best
so much for "being friends"

i dont even care if im sounding like a bitch
or "pushing you away with my words" (sounds familiar?)

the amount of ignorance, tears, heartpain ive put up with
is FUCKING not even enough to compensate the good times we share
I UNFORTUNATELY HAVE TO SAY

i know you read my damn blog
and i know you know too that many people read this
but DO YOU THINK I CARE if im making you sound like the bad guy NOW?
sorry dear boy i DONT.
i said before, id never want to make you sound like the bag guy etc.
im sorry, you keep trying to prove me otherwise

have a good life with whoever you are with now or like or whatever (if you have any)
so much for no commitment
HAHA. what bullshit
wonder if you've been spending time with your family as much as before?
wonder if you've been going to church as much as before?
wakaka what a bunch OF BULLSHITSUCKMYASS reasons.
it still makes me go MAD thinking of what happened and why
talk about not being childish when i asked you back,
whos the one being childish here?

if youre not ignoring me
DONT MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU FUCKING ARE


but then again

now matter how many fucking times i get slammed by the lorry
no matter how manyfucking times i get rejected
no matter how many fucking times i get ignored
i stupidly still miss you
i will never be with you ever again. not that i dont want to, you give me the very clear hint that we'll never be together not even as friends.
thankew so much (read: SARCASM)
OMG SUCHA PRICK

the dumbest person ever.
i hold on to something/someone who clearly has FORGOTtEN me.

why did you even promise me a forever.
so much for i intend to hold on to you the longest and what, the only time we're gg to use the word lose is when playing DAIDEE.
im just so very angry now, i could possibly kill.

losing you as my other half is BAD enough, bad beyond words.
i dont want to lose you as friend
and i know by me doing thise (writting this entry) im most probably will (oh wait WHAT FRIEND in the first place?)

and if you think im trying to gain self pity
or indulge in it.
WHATEVER


and they said
let him piss you off majorly


and i dont know why, as i write this,
tears aree streaming down my cheeks

everytime i try to fly i fall without my wings i feel so small i guess i need you baby
(even so, you wouldnt need me anyways so what the hell)

am i feeding your ego by constantly saying i miss you?

its been too long and im lost without you
what am i gonna do
say id be needing you wanting you
wondering if youre the same and whos been with you
is your heart still mine i wanna cry some times
i miss you

a current MIX of emotions.

i see the innnerbitch emerging
have a good life

you'll always be a part of me
i'm a part of you indefinitely
boy don't you know you can't escape me
ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
and we'll linger on and on
time can't erase a feeling this strong
no way you're never gonna shake me
ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

i miss you babeh

the once promise of an everything is now the nearest to nothing

bus-ed down to meet braddy, sean & tim in school
they make the worst situations super laughable.
budha beads and magikkkk palms. freaking funneh

pavilion-ed with them before cabbing down to scully's house
i hateeee the taxi driver
dropped me off at some cacat place just because
'i dont know siglap area"
woah i wanted to karate punch him lah but i had no energy
fastinng lurrrs. muakakaka..

walked under the blardeeeee hawt sun to scully's house
and we mad picture taking for our sgselltrade trades
then rach came and we continued messing her room and posing for the camera

cant wait to sell my stuffs for moneh
wonder if people'd even buy cos im selling those too big of a size away.
like those M, S kinds. my gordAz.
i have ALOT of oversized clothes, never worn before kind.
claps hand to the no.1 waste money person

then woah i started getting tummy cramps
dont even know if its aunt rosy throwing tantrums but woah
IT WAS SO DAMN PAIN i wanted to roll on the flooorrr
then i ate. MUAKAKA.
nothing proud but woah i wanted to DIE
never kena tummy cramps before siahs! damn scary!
there's always a first time for everything. HAHAHAH get lost.

then wenta different tastes and had goood food
bought brownies from bakery depot? then kimmy came
went back to scully's house and talked about issues.
dang interesting
am gg to download laguna beach soon. muahaha.

nice interesting almost indepth conversations.
i heart iintellectual talks.
the bearing of one;s true self is like almost refreshing
can be both good and bad, gotta 'refresh' with thhe right kinda peoople.

my perfect example of my lifelong partner for now; they got it right
you're too engraved and tattooed into my mind, life, everything
that people see right through me without me breathing a word,
yes farah, we know he's the one.

so bus-ed back with rach and i missed my stop.
always and forever im missing my stops
like maybe how i miss you too
oh i so cant get any cornier. rahhs

imissyou. ashithell lot.
shall wait for rach to comeoonline to send me my sgselltrade pics
so that i can photoshop it. damn exciting
me ish need money to buy a man to shop! & club!
oh i cant wait for this friday,
come this friday would you?
a night out with friends..

justice.
what happened to justice?
what happened to fair judgement?

you can push your weight around

JUSTICE IS JUSTICE.
something should be done.

put my defence lawyer sfor a fairer judgement, is too much to ask for
at least JUSTICE, the use of fair judgement, should at least be done.

so much so, claiming wanting to be devout.
devoution & selfishness DO NOT go hand in hand my dear
if you'd wanna talk about being a better human,
by doing so, does that make you more of a better human?
selfish brat.

no used crying over spilt milk
one can only hope for the best

laguna beach makes me cry. says:
3 more weeks till school

laguna beach makes me cry. says:
how fast is that

oochie walla walla says:
ARE YOU SERIOUS?

JENGJENGJENG*

hellos my sex maniacs,
we have less than a month to school
which means i have to party as much as i can now
and fug around earn as much money as i can

cant wait to sell my clothes off at sgselltrade.
am thinking, sell on my LJ or HERE?
aiyah anyhow lah.

fuck you fucking asshole

here i am fucking helping you
and instead of a thankyou

you;re fucking demanding me
fucking shouting at me
fucking scolding me

if youre so god damn great
(which i very much know youre no where near there)
you can jolly well do all these computering stuffs yourself
WITHOUT MY DAMN HELP

i can fucking chose not to do this blardee shits for you
BUT INSTEAD
because im your fucking daughter i am
and instead of being a fucking grateful father
you fucking raise your fucking voice at me like im your dog

WHOS THE BITCH YOU SLUT.
ill show you who.
its no wonder they told me
i actually DO have an upperhand in this r/s we have
I DO eventhough youre my damn father
because why?

I FUCKING KNOW MORE SHITS ABOUT EVERYONE AND THAT INCLUDES YOU too
motherslut.
fucking make me pissed one more time and ill just let it all go.

damn its good to kknow shits no one else does about other people.

i never thought you'd be the one that make me shine
brighter than the sun

im nothing more than a line in your book

im nothing but your already stated.


oh haha ive got a fanclub!
MUAHAHA

raudha's damn random ah.
but thankies for always reading my blog
i didnt even think anyone would read this shit
cos its so "about my life" HAHA
which is unfortunately not say very fun kind.


last night i slept with the windows open
and i wore a skirt to sleep
and i think i chaokeng? to my neighbours alot of times
but aiyah who cares also,
i think they're like dying of sore eyes now.
I SHALL KEEEEEL MORE PEOPLE..


woah so fast today monday,
the weekend passed DAMN FAST!
4moredays to tabooo.
clubbing's the next best thing next to an orgasm lah.


Youre all I ever wanted
Youre all I ever needed
So tell me what to do now cause, I want you back

Its hard to say Im sorry
Its hard to make the things I did undone
A lesson Ive learned too well for sure
So dont hang up the phone now
Im trying to figure out just what to do
Im going crazy without you

Baby I remember the way you used to look at me and say promises never lasts forever
I told you not to worry
I said that everthing would be all right
I didn’t know then that you were right

Youre the one I want, youre the one I need
Tell me what can I do?

i got this off sara's blog and its very nice.
very much "applicable"

so here goes..

dear you..

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same'
Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
And no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you


Sometimes I need some time...on my own
Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
Im not the only one


imissyou
everynight i hope to see you next to me.
and i still have the picture of you
sleeping so pinchable next to me engraved in my mind
bigguy, i miss you ALOT.
just one last everything?

so arnd 5plus wenta meet rachel at bugis
wenta shop around
was looking for a fucking dress
BUY ME DRESS PLEASE!
but couldnt find any. woah sIaNzz!

got myself a CK bra though
ripofff dog.
80BUCKS. kana sai ahs.
rach got herself some topshop top! damn nice! MUAKAKA

then we wenta paya lebar
waited motherfucking long for drinks at KFC, almost died lah

met scully & min
then we walked around geylang
ITS SO MOTHERFUCKINGLY HOT
we walked up down up down the place
ramly burgers & bah kuah? LOOKALIKES. hahahha!
quite "FOODful" outing.

we wenta city plaza in search of goodshit clothes
but all so trashy
the dress i saw damn nice but they didnt allow me to try
KANA SAI.
i wanted to see the length also cannot. KUKUJIAOOO!

then we slacked at lion city hotel
hahahahahaha fucking funnnehh!
oh before that wenta THIS PASHION
and they were playing some kukujiao song
scully went crazy ah!

oh ya so slacked at the hotel's cafe
and picture whored. HAHAHAH
lip glosssy! hahaha

then wenta meet brad & friends
then walked back to geylang area.
hahahahhahaa.

then my dad picked rach and i up
and sent her home

i feel powerful now haha
farah you're so bitch.
*HUGE WIDE GRIN*

cant wait to sell my stuffs off at sgselltrade.
exciting ahs! hahaha


boy you know that i wanna feel your body tonight

cant wait for taboo.

rach told me she saw a baldwin
unfair
my baldwin is like all the way up _. HAHA

my room's in a fucking mess
i have too many clothes and i hardly even wear them
always wearing the same old shit
my mum's nagging at me now saying
always buy clothes never wear
come to think of it
ya hor, i always wear same clothes alot of the rest never wear before
MUAHAHHAHAA.

caught YOU GOT SERVED and its fucking dope
may the dopest crew win

supposed to go to town with them but gotta clean up my room
tonight's the night :)

mrdopeshit's like sleeping and im dannngg bored

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

thank you for just now.

temp. curls are spas

shocking news. ahha
oh wells, ill learn to love you boy toy
♥

new pictures uploaded
and i wonder what tags ill receive next..
i haolian about my fingers?
eh wait EYES lahh. hahaha

im sorry i feel like a mess.
current state of mind : its too complicated

why do i fucking always think about you?
i constantly tell myself
fug off farah chew, he's never coming back fucking move on and stop holding on to something not worth your time

i constantly tell myself that
i even have reminders popping on my phone every now and then.
im serious, pre-set messages to remind me to fucking stop thinking about you
pre-set messages to tell me to move on
pre-set messages reminding me there is someone out there worth my love
pre-set messages telling me to seriously fucking move on, forget about you and let another guy in

ALWAYS
i tel myself that

UNFORTUNATELY
easier said than done

sometimes i wonder whether you think bout me, like how i always think about you.

me: *took a piece of paper and a pen and wrote* filza is a pig
then i showed her
and she read it
took the paper and pen and said
filza: jiejie i write "farah i love you" okay?
then i smiling to myself thinking woah so nice ah after calling her pig still wanna write i love you all
she took the thing and wrote
farah is a DOG

woah i swear i have the bestest sister alive
she was talking some shit to my dad and was like "you're bullshit"
HAHAHHAHAHA

then at the petrol kiosk (scully hates this word HAHA!)
she was like
filza: jiejie you know MTV got the show they make the cars very nice?
me: ya pimp my ride is it?
filza: i dont know ahboy always watch wan..
me: ya ya that show why
filza: papa's car got scratch abit the cats scratch we ask papa go to the place and make his car like the show okay
me: FILZA WHY YOU SO CUTTEEE!!!!!!!!


hahahhahahaha
going geylang with the company tomorrow
we seriously cant get enough of each other
i cant get enough of lingling man.
RAHHHHS.
somehow im excited. to see you
thankyou for your security
and thankyou for being there when i cried (many days ago)


note to oneself: fucking dont expect too much.

i had a dream of you last night
i had a dream of us last night

you & me in the cab
the first night we spent together
the exact replay of what happened after INITIAL D

one month since i had you as my significant other
one month since i had you in my arms

i miss you crazy bigguy.
i really do.

so i rushed to school to meet sean
and handed in my assignment
accompanied timmy too and he's mad funny i swear.
HAHAHAH jalan kayu? LOLS.

damn funneh. waited for brad, scully & rach for like monkey years.
then all of us including tim, left for balestier road.
damn sneakky ah. book hotel. HAHHA.
they booked hotel81 *grins*

then left for far east with tim in a cab
brad is forever trying to play matchmaker
WANT TO KILL YOU!
like the day before wasnt bad enough. RAHHS

so tim wenta meet his friends
i wenta meet ben at far east and waited for scully,rach & brad to come
then we wenta eat at level5, then off to reign
super funn lah. hahah mad dancing and peeping out of no where kind. HAHAHA

then waited for sean to come, OHHH NEW HAIRDOO =p
then we wenta lido gardens, damn sneaky! haha me sean brad and scully wenta hide from min & rach
then hahahaha scully and i were mad crawling on the floor all and her SUDDEN SCREAM
hahahah super funnny! hahahhaa
then we took a bus down to MS.
wanted to go to DBL O but cldnt get in so we wenta CHEEKYS instead
super mad funn lah i swear
hahahahha.
podium dancing. touchy men. weird cheekoman. bump&grind with HAHAH.
sneaky people. crazy touchy girl. MORE PODIUM DANCING. weird men circling for gangbang.
MORRREE PODIUM DANCINNGG :)))
&& hurrray to me not drinking a sip of alcohol. bradley's like a mother lah HAHAHA.
dancing's an aphrodisiac man.

my feet DIED lah seriously.
mad limpin around like a dog. HAHA.
min should know my pain. HAHA
then dined at 7-11. HAHAHAH scavangers i swear.
then took a cab back with min and rach
pic whoring in the cab the whole time. FUNFUNFUN!

i get butterflies in my tummy when im around you

oh bigguy, i miss you crazy.
yay to the end of supp papers.
we'll meet up soon alright babe?
rest well dear boyy :))

People stay together not because they have forgotten, but because they have forgiven.

there're so many reasons why i dread being at home

and its always because of the same ol thing.
parents.


its been so fucking long since i came home and had a proper dinner
and todaay i made the effort to come home for dinnner
and what happened?
they had to fucking fight and argue while having dinner
and again its because of that bitch.
its always that bitch. it will always be that bitch.

i came home, showered and waited for dinner and time to break my fast
my parents came home, my mum's facial expression said it all.
they fought in the car.
they always do.
and at dinner table, my mum didnt eat my dad didnt eat
because they were fighting

seriously, whats a home when its almost a world war three?
whaat comfort do i come home to every time?
i hardly see my mum because when she's at home, im out and when she goes to work im asleep
i hardly see my dad because he's never and hardly home
and when i do see them, they never fail to fight/argue

and its all because of a whore and my fucking father
i fucking cant stand itt.
i dont even care if im ruining his name here, for the world to see because
fortunately, he deserves it
NOTE: its fortunately.

i cant stand this shit.
where's that angel who'd make things right?
where's that mircale that ive been hoping for?

love and hope no longer exist.
not in my family not in my life and not in you.
how brilliant and wonderful

i thought i saw perfection through your imperfections

woah
super eventful day

so took a cab down to brad's house
then the 3(me, brad&rach) of us went to the supermarket to get fishing baits and all
then took a cab down to the usual fishing place.

sean and jacob were already there.
didnt catch anything lah!
but super eventful
1) the handreel? i was holding,casting fell into the damn water
so rach and i were like mad trying to scoop it up, only to have brad save the day by going near the thingy to catch for us
2) the boys tried catching snakes and got themselves all muddy TWICE
THE MOST SCARY SHIT
3) brad and sean were like trying to use nets to catch fishes so they went near the water then sean fell into the water then jacob tried to save him, both of them fell inside. brad had to use nets to pull sean who then pulled jacob up.
and sean's & jacob's hands were badly cut, jacob's whole fingerprint part area came out and both of sean's palms got deep cuts
FUCKINNG SCARYY

then helped them clean up the wounds, think they went to the docs.
then cabbed back with rach
i need to rush on my work
will upload the pics soon. when braddy comes home.

ugghh work work work.
kindly fug offfff.
ughh but tomorrow shall be a good day!
it will be, lets make love and dance the night away :)

I GOT A NAUTICAL STAR ON MY WRIST
GRINS. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahaa. rach got a nice thingyy on her back.
ahha fuck off lah farah chew stop being lame.

BYE IM OFF TO EAT

so took a bus down to MPL to meet scully & kim
sneaky talks and frequent eruptions of laugthers at starbucks
hahah. super funny! cant stand it please.
then i waited for so damn motherfuckingly long under the hothot sun
(okay so drama) at KCP bus stop for a freaky 15.
oh my bejesus!

bus-ed down to school and met sean
then we left for ang keoong?
(and until now i still wonder why its called ang keong)
and that place still confuses me.

finally bought myself a colouring book! MUAHAHA.
that shall keep chubby entertain
eh fug you lah farah, your colors work dowan to do want to action hero do coloring book.
KANA SAI.

okay roolls eyes.
so wenta school and fooled around, damn funny lah!
can die
then took a bus down to bedok interchange to meet brad, scully & eulisa
rei is damn basturrd! he keeps disturbing me just cos im fasting
and called once (afew times) to tell me EH YOU GOT (insert no.) minutes left till you can eat
oh and sean also! he deserved it just now!
anyhow wanna tempt me to eat den go yaya buy food then nice nice the person never give him cutleries to eat with
MUAHAHHAHAH!!
deserve it MR _! HAHAHHA hahahahhaha

ya so fooled like mad around bedok area todaye.
even went to some downstairs voiddeck to watch some porn/sexfied show lah!
but its damn funnny!!
CAN DIE LAUGHING kind. ahahahah
oh at macs, kim bought happy meal and the toy;s some playdough shit.
WOAH ITS THE KIDDY VERSION OF A SEX TOY
(okay to me at least ah)
played with it non stop. the smell is damnnn nice!
ahhh! i have it next to me neow.
come smell some dough. HAHA
after that wenta KFC bought some shits and took 25 back with the boys

mad fun day today lah hahah!
super sneaky peoople and all. hahahha!
love the company

and sean's a meaner.
*slams against mac's tree*
PIIIGG!!
hahaha


okay shall try to do my colors tonight

friday- chinablack mafia party (they're gg to play GUN SHOTS for musikk)
sat- indochine

everyday i wish you were here with me.
it hurts that you cant be.
if i could i'd turn back time
and maybe you'd still be mine
♥

You are my angle
that fly's so high
you are the sun
that lightens the sky

you are my life
the one I hold
you are my warmth
when I am cold

you are my shelter
from the rain
you are my hero
who takes away the pain

you are the one
I love so much
you are the one
I love to touch

you are the one
who will always care
you are the one
who will always be there

you are the light
that brightens my day
you are my path
that shows me the way

you will never leave my heart
no matter what you do
your the one, the only one
and i'm always goin to love you

so kiss me

You look into my eyes
I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try

I'm in over my head
You got under my skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in

And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you

ooh
Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)

Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Flowing into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind
oooh

I'm going crazy in love for you baby
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)
I'm going down like a stone in the sea
Yeah, no one can rescue me
(No one can rescue me)
ooh ooooh

i think i deserve the
DUMBEST NON-BLONDE award lah seriously

firstly,
i went out and didnt bring my ez-link SO SMART FARAH CHEW
thenn
i walked round and round TAKA to find a damn escalator. HAHAHA
thenn
now, rach just reminded me i have to print my mKdes shit and i cant print cos
my printer is the suckcocksmellcheebai KIND.

i forgot must printt!!

and and
i forgot i DO have a desktop which means i didnt have to go over to scully's house to do my MkDes powerpoint
and wasted everyone's time
ANDD
i found empty cd-rs at home which i so so seriously thought cd-rs are like some special cds only to realise its
cd-Rom only empty
and i have plenty of those shits at home



DUMB NON-BLONDE; kindly go and die NOW.


oh so i wenta collect my ipod.
yay
saw many people in town.
bought yummy bakerzinn oreo cheesecakeS
spent a bomb there on cheesecakes alone lah!
walked around
then got myself a photoframe, with a heart in the middle
and i was planning to put our pic inside, for memories sake
i will, once im done with my mkdes supp paper.

i dont want memories.
i miss you. so damn blardee much

oh godd help me with marketing.
screw means-end chains and wheel of consumer analysis and whatever crap
scrreeewwit.

oh im loving my msn nick
- >>>> x|A0`gErg3R___î®ÉÑè

i know you love it too.
UGH.

I've been down
Now I'm blessed
I felt a revelation coming around
I guess its right, it's so amazing
Everytime I see you I'm alive
You're all I've got
You lift me up
The sun and the moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes

I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way
I wanna be earth that holds you
Every bit of air you're breathin' in
A soothin' wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

When we touch, when we love
The stars light up
The wrong becomes undone
Naturally, my soul surrenders
The sun and the moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes

And I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way
And I wanna be the earth that holds you
Every bit of air you're breathing in
A soothing wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

When minutes turn to days and years
When mountains fall, I'll still be here
Holdin you until the day I die
And I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way

I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way
I wanna be earth that holds you
Every bit of air you're breathin' in
A soothin' wind
I wanna be inside your heaven
Oh yes I do
I wanna be inside your heaven

every single thing i do,
i can so imagine us doing it together
like walking hand in hand
turning each other off with foood in the mouth
everytime and everything i do
i imagine us doing it
i imagine you there with me


so bredly took so damn bloody long to come over to my house's bus stopp
i was falling a sleep lah!
was watching moulmein high and there's this part the teacher said to the canteen boy
"why do you keep imagining what our future would be like when we've yet to work on what we have now?"
hmmmmm.
so we took a 55 to KC bus stop and walked to sps side and took 32 to scully's house.
saw elie on the bus
got off and we bought food, he bought some gross noodles and i got nice soft buns! haha
so we walked over to her house
and guan min came.
they watched dBd while i did my MkDes.
okay i tried doing. hahahhaa
still have millions more to do.

so left for dinner at ThaiExpress.
maddd funny!
brad was like trying to pronounce all the thai words.
can die laughing! haha
had filling dinner then wenta siglap macs to continue my mkDes work.
so totally hardworking haha!
then we walked back to scully's house thru the cemetry way
brad think he damn funny, scaring people all. kana sai! haha

then got my stuffs then we walked to the rat-filled bus stop.
fucking freaky but luckily no rats
*bangs chests and goes HENG AH HENG AH*
but the fucking cat on the rooftop thinks he's some superman. crazehh!
hope you fall down and break your head and like use up your 9 lives lah

then brad and i took 32, then 55 back and had interesting talk
we always have interesting talks. damn funn hahah!
today;s one's the most interesting by far.
eh eh ehh . haha

then woah KNN!
while walking up the bridge
2 blarddeee cockroaches flew at me lah
i wanted to faint and die and jump down the bridge lah!!!!
*&@#(&@(#&@(#*&@(#&@*
damn you stupid insects!!

got home and bathed like crazy, scrubbing every possible skin on my bodAy.

scully'll be a rat in her next life
im going to be a cat
and bradley's going to be a cockroach

HAHAHHA.
yay! am going to collect my ipod tomorrroow!
FINALLY MY SEXAY (its my ipod's name okay) WILL COME BACK TO MOMMA.
eh ive always wanted to be a single mother. vErI dE kEwL dE WoRx
yay to my ipod's home coming!
ha ha farah you so funnehh

anyways,
my left arm's still being a bitch
and its so hard for me to unhook my bra
take out my shirt
scratch my back
tie my hair
carry stuffs
lift up my arm
and many many more examples.

ive never felt this paralysed before.

and and this afternoon i was thinking
the KC bitchiness in oneself will never die.
and the bitchiness we have is of a higher level then most girls
(from what ive observed and thus my conclusion)
and it could be both good and bad
oh the KC bitchiness. both fun yet trajikkk.
okay so random. go and die lah.

i miss you

my left arm still disableeedd!!!

and its raining
means i can only go over to scully's later

sister's friends are over and they're making alot of noise
and classsic,
went outside to get water, saw my lil bitch asking her friends to smell rain with her.

damn classic.


now, as I clutch my blanket, hanging on for dear life, I suddenly realize, maybe I need to stay away from you. You are my life, and you're killing me. You're killing me slowly.


10 Reasons Why I Love You
You see right through to the real me
You don't judge me
You love me for who I am
The way you tell me I'm the most beautiful person on earth
The way you hold me and kiss me
You're not afraid to show your sensitive side
The way you complete me
The way I think about you and can't get you off my mind
Because you are you
Because without you in my life I would be nothing

kana sai.
my fucking left arm wanna be how fucking disabled now.

okay update.
wenta meet rachu at aljunied mrt
and we took a train down to town
madddddd countrymen habann i swear!
fucking scaryy i almost died esp at the lift area.
hahhaa.
went shopping and i got myself
1) a guess bag
2) another guess wallet
3) white pointed heels
5) shitass kickass sexified green nail polish
6) && our hair accessories and stuff and like waited for brad & scully
we wenta reign and the maidness in us shone/shine WHATEVER.
helped darius spring clean and stuff
hahahas. shortened my skirt and then took a walk down to wisma area and met denise
and 5 of us took a bus down to raffles town club

woahhhhh!! mad tiring i swear the event.
but my area was the slackest cos i had the slackest families to handle.
was some wedding banquet
and like there's this old couple sitting at one of the tables i was handling
tooo cute already! the old man got drunk and sooo sooo cute!
felt like swinging him around and all lah! hahahhaa
mad tiring esp since the girls were the cocktail girls.
my hands were like mad mad mad shaking and trembling.
almost died.
work ended about 1130
then the 4 of us took a cab down to lau pa sat and ate like we've never eaten in years
hahhaha.
slacked there and was mad talking about everything.
BOON TAT?
BENG LEE?
HAHAHHAHAHA. fucking funny. too funnny already

after that took a cab backk. mad journey i swear!
serangoon, pasir ris, my place. WOAHHHH. dieded lah!

hahah fb starts school today/later. MUAHHAHA. soo poor thing.
and and woah first time my damn phone died on me
and i was mad dying cos i was being so highly demanded lah HAHAHA
fug off farah chew. HAHA

most prob am gg over to scully's house tomorrow/later
oh shit my leg cramp
my left arm cramp.
KANA SAI LAHH

whenever im having fun, and when am not thinking of you
then itll hit me
shit i havent been thinking of you
then ill go back to miss you mode.
crazy. i know.

oh wells. whatever.
have a fun life ahead.

i think
im being that way i am towards you is because
i dont want to hurt him.

yes you're the first and last person i think of every day
but slowly, im not bothering.
but i keep saying i miss you etc.
yes i do miss you but somehow i know im doing it because of something
and it might just be
because i dont want to hurt other people thus hang on the memories of us.

yes i dont wannt to lose you
but i always find myself using you as an excuse to
okayy..
i dont know how to say.

yes, i am having fun, 2-3 times the amount of fun ive had in months
and no doubt im living not dying without you
(eventho i very much thought i would)
but i dont know.
i want you but i dont want you at the same time
i want him but i dont want him because i want you but i dont want you.

i think i should probably stop being selfish and let you go
which i can very proudly say i am slowly doing
but then again,
i dont want to lose you

i want you out of my head, my thoughts but
i dont wanna lose it.

its quite confusing
because
you were the future i had so much hope for
and now that its obviously rotten, dead and collecting maggots
and people come into my life
im just too afraid to open up
too afraid that if i let him in, ill lose you
i dont him to replace you i dont
no one can
but im afraid.

i dont know if i still love you just as much
im sure i do but its not as much as i did before
and yes i really miss you, no doubt about it. i miss you more each day
but feelings fade
im happy yet sad it is.

i still find myself tear-ing when i see our pictures
i still find myself hoping to have you want me back
i still find myself hoping you'd call and say you miss me
i still find myself hoping you'd come back, okay wait i dont even know if i want you back

i dont need to know if you still love me or not
because i know the answer, which is a no.
but all i need to know now is,
do i mean the little-less bit to you and do you still think about me and if you miss me even the least bit?
lie to me even if you have to because im sure you know what im expecting your answer to be

im afraid id be the person i told myself not to be
im afraid id do things i told myself not to do

i dont know
im glad yet sad things are the way they are now.
glad because i wouldnt have met and known people i know now and know who truely are the ones worth keeping
sad because my future with you no longer exist


oh ,
i know youre fucking gloating and popping champagne we're no longer together
be happy
and have fun always reading my blog.
and then bitch about it to the world :))